Henpecked sissies


From: Steve “Cooker” Koch

Minnesota City, Minn.

This week a major snowstorm blizzard hit Las Vegas, a foot of snow fell in Arizona, then it snowed in New Orleans!...Must be that global warming huh? Here’s some other big fat lies the lying liars have spoon-fed us.

Recently we’ve learned that our lying leaders knew the Japanese were invading Pearl Harbor, but the radar operators were ordered to “ignore it!”

Incidentally, the Japanese cut my Uncle Bob Koch “in two” on Luzon in the Philippines along with many other Winona boys. Bob was not just a name on a marker down by the lake, he went to Jefferson School, slid on the slides, swung on the swings, scrounged up money to buy a pop at Harry’s Bright Spot, played the piano and sang, went to St. Mary’s Church, had a steady girlfriend, graduated from Winona High, then was killed with his pal from Winona, a Kuhlman boy, on a distant isle and in a remote jungle far from Winona. Years after the war ended they sent what was left back to Winona in a sealed steel coffin. He’s been out at St. Mary’s Cemetery ever since. (If people knew what the Japanese did to our young boys, nobody would buy their cars, and GMC would be thriving.) Did you know Japan won’t allow our cars on their soil?

We learned in 1963 the web of lies the lying liars wove when they tried to convince us only one guy murdered our beloved president with a beat-up inaccurate single shot bolt action Italian rifle. (Rent the Oliver Stone film, JFK.)

Now NASA is looking for water on distant planets in distant galaxies. They don’t even have to lie to us about it anymore. Nobody cares.

Next the Halliburton Company will convince us they need to set up a pipeline to pump water back here. (They say it’s good water though, lots of iron, zinc and krinkulonium 400.) NASA could have rented a backhoe from Winona Excavating for less than a penny each and found water in the first hole they dug in Goodview. I wonder if they know those big pretty blue things on the globe are the Great Lakes? A dredging company from Houston, Texas, collected $1,000,000,000.00 (that’s a billion dollars) to dredge out Saigon harbor during the Vietnam War. The owner of that obscure “just you never mind” company, was a little old lady named Lady Bird Johnson.

Dogs and alligators ate the dead in New Orleans while the starving and mortally injured were lied to and ordered by threat to wait for help. Looks like it’s up to the baby boomers to take back our country, state, and counties from the lying liars that have weaseled themselves into these cozy positions. Especially the appointed ones. Never allow a public servant with authority to be appointed.

Recently while in the express line of a large Twin Cities grocery store, a Mexican woman with 150 items barged in front of a guy and his wife behind me. The guy didn’t hold back either. He said, “Ma’am, the sign says 15 items...I think you’re well over that.” She ignored him. All 80 people around us started to tune in. Again he said, “Say, ma’am, you barged in front of us. You’re in the wrong line.” She sternly rebuked him in Spanish and stood her ground. (She knew her illegal alien rights.) The guy came unglued. Everybody was rooting for him too. The place went as quiet as a confessional when he said quite eloquently, “Get your foreign carcass out of my line...go back to whatever country you snuck in from...learn to read English and get a green card, then come back to check out your free groceries!”

I nearly soiled me knickers holding my laugh in. Nobody said a peep. Even the cash registers were silent. I broke the silence by turning around, shaking his hand saying, “Wow, you said what everybody else was afraid to say. We should erect a statue of you with a plaque that reads...’The last real man in a country of henpecked sissies.’”


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